The Internet Learned How to Diet!

The Internet Learned How to Diet!

The Internet did something right (again)! This is post #2 in the series of things The Internet has recently gotten very right, in my opinion. I came across a link to this article, entitled “25 Worst Diet Tips Ever,” and expected it to be, ya know, a crock of shit. But it wasn’t! So hats off to you, Internet, for learning the importance of nuance in discussing pop science–er, health!

I’ll keep this one short because I’ve already ranted about the stupidity of current fad diets. The comments on the article are, of course, all over the place, but I’m relieved to see some amount of pushback against paleo and gluten-free diets, which are pretty clearly not panaceas and certainly don’t solve weight problems in and of themselves (but rather by cutting out calorie sources that people don’t realize are problematic or of which they unknowingly eat too much). 

In particular, the point about juiced fruits and veggies made me cringe as I recalled a horrific infomercial for the “NutriBullet superfood nutrition extractor and blender” that I saw last week, which just straight up lied about the benefits of blending a bunch of produce. Similarly, I recently read an article explaining that those fruit and veggie pouches everyone is giving their kids nowadays are probably spiking their blood sugar way faster than the whole foods would because they contain less fiber and don’t require chewing. Here, you’ve got adults thinking that juicing and juice cleanses are good diet practices, in spite of the fact that they amount to drinking a potentially sizable amount of sugar very quickly–Ay! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been known to throw a bunch of dark berries, plain low-fat yogurt, half an avocado, one just-ripe banana, and a tablespoon or so of that Odwalla Green Machine juice in a blender when I’m feeling lazy (or dehydrated), but it’s not a habit you want to get into if you have blood sugar issues or are trying to stave off hunger.

On a related note, you’ve got all these folks saying they “do better” or “feel better” on low-fiber diets. Bad news bears, y’all, that’s just not true. The reason lots of fiber makes you feel crappy is because it literally makes you crappy and if you don’t eat it regularly all that, uh, unprecedented activity is going to cause cramping and associated pain. This can easily be prevented by slowly introducing fiber into your diet, and by drinking plenty of water (which insoluble fiber absorbs in the digestive tract). Soluble fiber actually delays the absorption of sugar into your bloodstream, making it more even-keeled; really, stable blood sugar levels are about the best possible outcome for someone trying to lose weight (or avoid all kinds of inflammatory issues) because you won’t find yourself deliriously hungry soon after your last meal.

So, yay for well-reasoned dietary advice! And for the promotion of a moderate stance on health-related things on The Internet!

Until next time.


(Lest you start thinking The Internet is an entirely well-reasoned place, here are these gems for which someone undoubtedly has a thematic blog entitled something like “Today in Penis News”: Chubby Checker says HP can’t use his name in their, um, chubby-checking app; old man picks wrong hole for cocktail fork.)


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